I receive Apple’s regular newsletters pointing me to all manner of wares available in their store pretty regularly. I haven’t unsubscribed, and I don’t really know why. I’m not big on impulse purchases and I read enough to be well aware when a new product has arrived or is at least about to. On top of that, while I’m completely trading in traditional notions of gender stereotypes, as a guy I do not want a pink iPod. I’d be interested to know if women received a newsletter pushing a blue or black iPod for their male counterparts, but I somehow doubt it.

The iPod itself is a hard sell as a Valentine’s Day gift, one that screams “Holy shit, I’d better get them something!” For anyone who has taken this option and is now reading this thinking a grave mistake has been made, take these helpful tips:

1. When you order it, get it engraved (Apple do this for free via their online store, it takes less than a week to arrive)
2. Open it up.
3. Pre-load it with:
   1. Songs you know your partner loves or have significance in your relationship
   2. Photos of the two of you, your friends, family members, etc.
   3. TV shows you know they love (you’ll be surprised how clear the iPod screen is)
4. Buy them a decent pair of headphones as well, as the iPod ones won’t last long; I recommend these from Seinheiser, roughly AU$80 and a great investment 18 months running)
5. An optional extra is the Nike add-ons for those with particularly sporty partners, be careful this doesn’t get turned into a suggestion you think your partner needs to lose a few pounds – this slippery slope is harder to navigate than you think it is.

As a complete aside, I just unsubscribed from the Apple newsletter. Upon reading my opening paragraph, what choice did I have? Now in my sights: Border’s, Go Daddy, eBay. How many newsletters do you receive which you have no intention of ever acting on?

Update: Paypal just copped it as well. I’m reclaiming my inbox and nobody is safe!